BREAKING: New rule: Compensation for coffee spillage in the office
As of today, a new legal guideline comes into effect: colleagues who unintentionally waste their coffee due to shocking legal arguments are entitled to compensation!
Article 1 – Definitions
“Coffee spillage” is defined as the spilling, choking, or abrupt setting down of coffee (or other hot beverage) as a result of:
- A completely counterintuitive legal position
- A surprising twist in an ongoing case
- A contract clause so complex that the coffee drinker temporarily loses his motor skills.
Article 2 – Damage settlement
The compensation consists of:
- A new cup of coffee to compensate for the lost caffeine boost
- A sweet treat (preferably a biscuit or chocolate) as moral compensation
- In extreme cases (for example, if a white blouse is lost) an additional lunch allowance.
Article 3 – Burden of proof
The victim must file a complaint with the internal ‘Coffee Committee’ within five minutes of the incident. Evidence may include wet documents, coffee stains on clothing or witness statements from colleagues who witnessed the shock reaction.
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